Married people at times, especially happily married people, can make very crummy friends. It’s true. I’m guilty!
We don’t mean it. It’s just that you get caught up with the day-to-day hustle and bustle of managing work, home, and just basic survival and your friendships start to sustain by text messages and Facebook. You feel like you caught up with your friends, but you really haven’t. Maybe you haven’t talked to them in several months. Maybe you haven’t really talked to them in a year!
Last week, I had the opportunity to catch up with a dear friend of mine, Imani, whom I hadn’t seen in about that long. My daughter’s godmother wanted her overnight, so I thought it would make for a great date night for me and the hubs. Only, my husband had a reunion with his frat brothers on the books that slipped his mind, so I quickly realized I would have no hubby and no baby for an evening. It hasn’t been that way in ages!
I reached out to Imani, and, like the beautiful, awesome woman that she is, she didn’t make me feel guilty for not reaching out sooner or with more regularity. Instead, she was the sweetest and most gracious friend I could have asked for, making time to meet in the midst of her own uber busy week so that we wouldn’t miss each other again.
We had great conversation, thoughtful differences of opinion, and more times than not, just good, symbiotic vibing! That one night out with my girl reminded me of how much my friends matter and how we have to make time for ALL THE PEOPLE who count.
It’s easy to put family first – as we should. No one would challenge that. However – it is important to put friends up there too. Friends understand us in a different way than our spouses even… not better, but different. There’s a comfort in these relationships that is akin to a sisterhood or brotherhood, meaning it needs to be invested in and nurtured as well. The only way to do that is time – true, quality time. Sure, make time to talk and text and facebook or whatever, but do more – meet, greet, have girls’ night, guys’ night, etc.
I am making a commitment to myself and to my friends to just be a better friend. I am sooooooo very blessed to have these people in my life – people who know and love and support me whether it’s that they see me all the time or hardly at all. That is a gift and one not to be taken for granted.